I have not had this feeling in quite awhile. That feeling when I suddenly remember or when I hear or see or think of something or anything related to you, my heart skips a beat. I just hope that this is not one sided- l o l.
Though many people say, its not impossible for a couple to be friends again after their breakup, i believe this can’t really happen. It is very difficult for someone to love a person less than the degree of love they have given them before. Im not saying that they love that person less or that you dont care about them anymore, what i mean is, you have given that person a kind of love that is; romantic love so if you go back to friendship type of love again, it is almost impossible, or maybe yeah, totally impossible. I think, you or the person will always have that same feeling of love when you remain friends after the break up. Someone will keep falling over and over again for the other person because it would be difficult to let go of the romanctic love you two had if you stayed friends. No matter what happens; you break up then no contact for a long period time then become friends again, or breakup then remain friends, there will always be one of you two, who can never really let go of that feeling. That feeling of loving that person more than just a friend, that feeling of being vulnerable and open to that person, it would be hard to forget those. I guess, if you remained good friends with your ex, you never “loved” her/him, or the person, never really “loved” you, thats why it was too easy for him/her to just be friends.
Okay. So the past few weeks, I’ve been having dreams that involve death/dying. I don’t know why, maybe it has something to do about losing my grandmom because it was the first I experienced losing a really close relative.
I’ve dreamt about my mom being snow white, and she died. Not by eating an apple or something like that, but a girl killed her.
Twice already, I dreamt that my cousin died. I seriously don’t know what’s happening with my brain.
Last night, I had the scariest dream I’ve ever had. I woke up crying and feeling super scared. In my dream, I was dead but I didn’t realize that I was dead, until the last part then I woke up. So here were just some parts that I remember clearly. What happened was that, it was like our class’ retreat. We were asked to enter a dark room and girls who were like spiritual advisers or something like that we’re in there. So we were asked to enter and approach a girl i guess, that would give us advice, spiritual guidance and things like that. But when I entered the room, this girl; one of the spiritual advisers, immediately approached me and grabbed my arm. Like she wasn’t looking at me, eyes closed and she just came towards me like i was some person she really felt something with and creepy things like that. But in my dream, she just made me sit beside her. I couldnt remember her telling me anything. Then it all got blurry and the next thing I remember was that we were being asked to evacuate a place. There were even some bouncers in the area trying to get us out… So I left and I was going down a dark staircase. It wasn’t totally dark, like there was a light bulb at the bottom of the stairs but it was flickering so… yeah. and while I was going down the stairs, a classmate of mine ( i think or maybe a friend, im not really sure. but the setting I remember was that I was in a retreat with my classmates so I think it was one of my classmates, im not sure who) held my hand. Our fingers interlocked going down the stairs ‘cause we were both scared. Reaching the bottom stairs was another staircase going up. lol. yeah I dont get it either. All I remember was we were going down a staircase then another staircase leading up. So we went up and we we’re like in a dorm. In my dream, I know it was our dorm. So we tried climbing up to room after room, then I noticed one of our teachers was in the building. I told my classmate that she was there and we tried hiding, which surprisingly, though I am sure that she could have seen me already, she didnt.
Then when my classmate and I reached our own room… i realized that she wasnt only a classmate, she was also my ‘roommate’ in that dorm. So yeah, we reached our room. It was all white, wooden floors, double bed on the side and a big mirror on the wall. and in the reflection on the mirror, I saw my roommate and myself like my other self, lying on the floor, dead. Like, the room was empty. I just saw our dead selves on the reflection. And so like I got really scared and I was like wtf whats happening, shit maybe that’s why that spiritual girl approached me or something and maybe thats why my teacher didnt see me earlier, because I was already dead. So in my dream, I was only ghost. I didnt really realized that I was already dead until I got to see my dead body in the reflection on the mirror.
Then I got crazyscared and woke up, crying. As I’ve said, I’ve dreamt of other people dying in my dreams, I’ve never dreamt of anyone dead already appearing in my dreams, and it was my first time to dream of myself dead so i was scared as shit.
I googled that when you see yourself dead or dying in a dream, it usually is a good sign like you’re changing and your oldself is dying or something like that but I dont really know what’s with the roomate dying too and the ghost and why i didnt realize that i was only ghost. This has been bothering me all day and I really hope someone could interpret this crazy dream of mine.
I’ve been seeing a lot of hate tweets and posts about my school. I just thought of dedicating one post to these haters, and also to my school before I leave.
Here’s to all those people who call Theresians hillbillies, sluts, whores, cunts, bitches, incompetent and a whole lot more. Let me show…
It’s about 1 am now, and I came across this post. I think it’s from a blog, credits to whoever gave me this idea. S/he said, “How i know i truly love you”. Or something like that.
How do you know if you truly love someone?
Before, i thought you truly love someone when you can be just normal in…
Someday, you’ll find someone who’ll make you feel special. He’ll send you good morning and goodnight texts because he knows you love it when he does that.
Someday, you’ll find someone who’ll make you feel loved. He’ll tell you he loves you every single day just for you to believe him.